Trying to Make the Driving World a Little Less Annoying

Author: EMan Page 10 of 15

Brain Buckets and Brain Donors

I recently bought a helmet for the track. It’s rated SA2010. This replaces my old SA95 helmet, which I’ve been wearing just to look cool at go-kart tracks (they’re quite fashionable).

Dead Man Driving

I’m a dead man.

According to College@Home’s infographics (thanks to @klagowski), a long commute is very, very bad for you. (As an aside, it also mentions a phenomenon I’ve called the Traffic Caterpillar of Death. I just have to find someone to officially use my term.) So how does a commute longer than 45 minutes kill you? Let College@Home count the ways:

EMan’s Road Rules

A man must have his guiding principles to lead him through life, like a shining beacon of clarity cutting through the troubling fog of our times. I have no idea what these principles are supposed to be, however, so instead I will write about my Rules of the Road which help minimize crankiness when I drive. If something more important than Driving comes up, then maybe I’ll come up with some rules for that, too.

The Stereotype Games

I play different mental games in my head. One that I can actually share in public is something I call the Matching Game. It’s simply matching a person to his/her car.

My Sweet Valentine

There’s nothing like buying the love of your life a Valentine. Just don’t tell your wife about it.

2012 Detroit Auto Show

I didn’t get a golden ticket this year. I don’t get to hang out with the Veruca Salts and Augustus Gloops of this world. I don’t even get platform shoes, a green wig and sing questionable songs. Instead, I went to the NAIAS at Cobo Hall with the unwashed masses. I may need to shower.

The Need for Speed Is the Leading Cause of Brain Drain

This internet thingy is…. interesting. When I’m not looking at videos of cute kittens (which may or may not be a euphemism) or showing 1980s music videos to my kids, I watch car videos. I recently watched this video of a Corvette crashing followed by another video of a Corvette crashing. I would normally make a joke at this point, but Corvette drivers wouldn’t get it anyway, so I’ll just let that pass.

It’s The Most @#$%(*! Time of the Year

Ahh… Christmas. That special time of year. There’s a certain something in the air that makes me just a bit… crankier. Is it all the preparation? The stress looking for presents? The unrealistic expectations of holiday cheer? Nope, it’s all those @#$%^&* shoppers out on the road.

The World’s Hardest Job

The entrance ramp was waiting for me, beckoning. It’s a challenging, imperfect ramp. It’s choppy in places, marked by crumbling asphalt. There’s a pothole on the racing line (I have to remember that). The first curve is slightly off-camber, and the guardrail is pretty close on the exit.

Traffic finally clears, and I make my turn.

The Gentle Curve of Death

“Every curve is exciting, if you go fast enough.”
–EMan’s sister

There’s a Simpsons episode (season 16, episode 13, “Mobile Homer,” for those that care) where Homer and Marge are on the freeway chasing Bart and Lisa, who are in a recreational vehicle. Marge is looking ahead and says, “I can’t see past all the SUVs.”

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