For various random reasons, one of my cars gets work done by a particular mechanic. This mechanic does good work. He’s thorough and gets the job done without much hassle. His shop is a tad expensive, but I don’t mind paying a bit more if I get good quality (isn’t it sad that good quality isn’t expected in basic work anymore?).

He’ll also let me know what’s going on with the car if there’s something that could be a problem soon. Most garages will do this, as it generates more business for them. In general, I don’t mind that, but for some reason, it bugs me when this shop does it.

I think it’s because they gives me a bit of a hard sell on the additional work.

Shop: “Well, this discombobulator is rusted through. I’d get this taken care of now before it discombobulates all over the place. That could be dangerous.”

Me: “Well, can I leave it in and still drive it for a while..?”

Shop: “Death and destruction.”

Now, I may know that my discombolutor is getting old and will need to be replaced soon and that I won’t have the time or inclination to do it myself. I was probably even thinking of taking it to this shop to get the job done. I just don’t like being told to do something.

I may start investing in lottery tickets to get a Cosworth EJ257 long block
The discombobulator on this is the wrong color

I was a stubborn, pig-headed kid who didn’t like being told what to do. Over the years, I’ve become a stubborn, pig-headed adult who doesn’t like being told what to do. Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit about the adult part, but it’s otherwise true.

Telling me to do something is usually the surest way to make sure I won’t do something (see: wife asking when I’m finishing the deck, cleaning basement, etc.).

“If you could stay as stubborn as when you were a child then you need not to compromise on your dreams.”
—Amit Kalantri

A local tire chain (rhymes with Helle Fire) gives the same sort of hard sell. I’ve taken my tires in to get their nitrogen-soaked air lubed and rotated and gotten the spiel.

Helle Fire: “The thingamajigger is running out of spec. You shouldn’t be on the road with that it like that. It’s dangerous.”

Me: “Well, can I leave it in and still drive it for a while..?”

Helle Fire: “Death and destruction.”

And it could be that the thingamajigger is bad, but I know it’s not that bad. Don’t threaten me.

To the Thingamajigger!
A working Thingamajigger

“Stubborn and ardent clinging to one’s opinion is the best proof of stupidity.”
—Michel de Montaigne

That’s why I love Discount Tire, and not just because they carry tires (I love tires).

Discount Tire: “Your doohickey is completely worn. We’re obligated to tell you about death and destruction if you keep it on.”

Me: “Well, can I leave it in and still drive it for a while..?”

Discount Tire: “Sure! We’ll happily put that dangerous piece of equipment back on for you. Have a nice day!”

See? I like that! That’s the way an informed and yet clueless customer should be treated!

Owl art
This James Corbett doohickey is a self Eule

“Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.”
—Mark Twain

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to tell my kids that unless they eat all of their vegetables, they will turn into trolls that live under the bridge. Threaten and traumatize.

Crankiness Rating: 8 out of 11 (I really need a Whatchamacallit right now.)