I recently bought a set of tires[1]. Now, I’ve mention before how much I love tires. I just want to assure my wife everyone that my tire purchase is completely justifiable—one tire was leaking. Buying a new set removes the inconvenience of having to get that leaky tire fixed.
A little while ago I needed to change the spark plugs on my STI, so I bought a new engine. I mean, seriously, have you seen where the spark plugs on that engine are? Need the timing belt replaced? Same solution. (Pro tip: you can combine these changes into one engine and save money!)
And that’s when I realized that I’m basically lazy.
Not all the time, of course. Just in those cases where there appears to be an easier, more convenient, and perfectly valid way of doing things.
For example, instead of filling up your gas tank, it just seems easier to get a rental car, since they always seem to have a full tank. If you need new brake rotors, get a new Brembo GT big brake kit, since those come with rotors already.
(Slightly related to this inspired laziness is the, “while you’re doing this, might as well do that” philosophy. If you have to replace your air filter, for example, might as well get a new turbo while doing that.)
They say that necessity if the mother of invention, but that’s only because we lazy people can’t be bothered with filing the patent.
“Necessity is the mother of invention.”
—They
I think we lazy people are a misunderstood lot. We’re just trying to find that simple, elegant solution. We’re trying to be convenient and efficient. And we’re trying to get off the couch to turn on the lights, but we can’t reach it.
So instead of wasting time for a 30-minute oil change (as if!), I suggest getting a new car. It doesn’t get more simple, elegant, or convenient than that.
(Please?)
Crankiness Rating: 
(It’s too much effort to get crankier than that.)
[1] I bought a set of Continental ExtremeContact DW. Why these tires? Let me count the ways.
- I wanted to give Conti tires another chance.
- The ExtremeContact DW gets good rating, especially for wet pavement.
- My neighbors are building arks and gathering pairs of animals.
- I may be able to hear my radio on the freeway again.
- The Dunlops I normally buy (Direzza ZII) are no longer made.
- There’s a new version (Direzza ZII Star Spec) of the Dunlops that I buy, but at about three times the cost of the Contis (I get a hefty discount).
- Conti doesn’t make race tires for my car.
- If these Contis suck, then I can justify a new set of tires in a few months.
Continental ExtremeContact DW — because I get a discount