{"id":241,"date":"2012-01-03T05:36:28","date_gmt":"2012-01-03T09:36:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/?p=241"},"modified":"2017-01-17T17:12:57","modified_gmt":"2017-01-17T16:12:57","slug":"the-need-for-speed-is-the-leading-cause-of-brain-drain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/the-need-for-speed-is-the-leading-cause-of-brain-drain\/","title":{"rendered":"The Need for Speed Is the Leading Cause of Brain Drain"},"content":{"rendered":"

This internet thingy is…. interesting. When I\u2019m not looking at videos of cute kittens (which may or may not be a euphemism) or showing 1980s music videos to my kids, I watch car videos. I recently watched this video of a Corvette crashing<\/a> followed by another video of a Corvette crashing<\/a>. I would normally make a joke at this point, but Corvette drivers wouldn\u2019t get it anyway, so I\u2019ll just let that pass.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n\"Belle
\nA gaggle of Corvettes inexplicably not<\/i><\/b> crashing<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

After watching those videos, I had to resist the urge to provoke Corvette drivers into doing something video-worthy. Or doing some \u201cengineering analysis\u201d to see if I could replicate the Corvette-turns-on-a-dime-randomly scenario in an all-wheel drive vehicle.<\/p>\n

See, here\u2019s my problem. Deep down inside, under this sheer veneer of adulthood, I\u2019m still a juvenile delinquent, especially when it comes to cars.<\/p>\n

And from watching many videos from Mr. Internet, I have a suspicion I\u2019m not alone. I\u2019m also pretty sure it\u2019s the same gene that makes us say, \u201chey, watch this!\u201d or \u201cwhat could possibly go wrong?\u201d I don\u2019t think this gene is gender specific, but we men seem to choose vehicles as (one of) our implement(s) of destruction. Men think with their stick shift, or something like that.<\/p>\n

When we gather with our cars, the results can be dramatic, like the recent infamous Ferrari\/Lamborghini (\/Prius) crash<\/a>. I\u2019m actually surprised this hasn\u2019t happened in my car club yet during one of our tours. Of course, we may have had thoughts like, \u201care my tires still in contact with the pavement?\u201d Or that could have just been me. Maybe the best way to say it is we haven\u2019t been caught on video. So far.<\/p>\n

\n\"I
\nMaybe I should put a video camera on my dad\u2019s car, too, just in case.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Thank God this speed affliction only affects mere mortals like ourselves, and not race car drivers<\/a> who conduct themselves with utmost professionalism<\/a>, or even those we entrust to serve and protect<\/a> us.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m the first to admit that it\u2019s hard not to be seduced with horsepower. When you have 300+hp on tap, you want to race from traffic light to traffic light, shifting at red line, painting lines of black rubber as if marking your territory. It\u2019s hard to resist that temptation.<\/p>\n

\u201cPower is not alluring to pure minds.\u201d
\n–Thomas Jefferson<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And sometimes there are other forces that jack the testosterone to Epic Stupid levels, like the Other Guy. When I first got my 944 Turbo<\/a>, I was constantly being goaded by other cars (usually Mustangs, but sometimes slumming Testarossas) into displaying my masculinity, which I did because I\u2019m stupid, often hitting speeds I can\u2019t post on a family-friendly blog site (hint: almost as fast as my sister).<\/p>\n

My current car, a Subaru STI, is a magnet for this as well. On my recent trip to Pikes Peak<\/a>, I had cars come up next to me on the freeway in almost every state I drove through, rev their engines, and try to get me to run with them.<\/p>\n

Of course, because I\u2019m an idiot, I was really, really tempted. And amused. (A Honda Civic Si revving its motor next to me? Really? Sure, it could have had a 650+hp twin-turbo motor under the hood, but come on. I own a Civic Si.)<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no shortage of stupid in this world.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have one speed, I have one gear: go!\u201d
\n–Charlie Sheen<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The difference between then and now is that I have a family, which is a reminder for me not to do something stupid when I\u2019m driving. But that may start backfiring on me, with my two-year-old son screaming<\/a>, \u201cfaster, daddy, faster!\u201d from the back seat at every freeway entrance ramp. I mean, how can a dad disappoint his son?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t believe in New Year\u2019s resolutions, so I\u2019m not going to make one about driving maturely. I\u2019m just going to pretend harder to be a real adult when behind the wheel. Actually, that\u2019s bad. I\u2019ve seen real adults drive.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll just say that I will maintain my higher brain functions when I\u2019m out there on the road. Or start hormone treatments for those pesky testosterones.<\/p>\n

Have a safe, smart New Year.<\/p>\n

\u201cSpeed, for a lack of a better word, is good.\u201d
\n–somebody must have said this once.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

Bonus ZR1 Corvette video<\/a> (warning: lots of loud, gratuitous swearing in under 11 seconds\u2014don\u2019t show near children, unless they\u2019re German)<\/p>\n

\"Schlu\u00df\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This internet thingy is…. interesting. When I\u2019m not looking at videos of cute kittens (which may or may not be a euphemism) or showing 1980s music videos to my kids, I watch car videos. I recently watched this video of a Corvette crashing followed by another video of a Corvette crashing. I would normally make […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[37,73],"class_list":["post-241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random","tag-bad-driving","tag-corvette"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=241"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1669,"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions\/1669"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crankydriver.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}