Cranky Driver

Trying to Make the Driving World a Little Less Annoying

Tag: bad driving

The Need for Speed Is the Leading Cause of Brain Drain

This internet thingy is…. interesting. When I’m not looking at videos of cute kittens (which may or may not be a euphemism) or showing 1980s music videos to my kids, I watch car videos. I recently watched this video of a Corvette crashing followed by another video of a Corvette crashing. I would normally make a joke at this point, but Corvette drivers wouldn’t get it anyway, so I’ll just let that pass.

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The Gentle Curve of Death

“Every curve is exciting, if you go fast enough.”
–EMan’s sister

There’s a Simpsons episode (season 16, episode 13, “Mobile Homer,” for those that care) where Homer and Marge are on the freeway chasing Bart and Lisa, who are in a recreational vehicle. Marge is looking ahead and says, “I can’t see past all the SUVs.”

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The Egoist

Hey! You in the dark blue Chevy Chevrolet Impala talking on the phone! Get out of the way!

Die ganze Welt dreht sich um mich, denn ich bin nur ein Egoist.
Der Mensch, der mir am nächsten ist, bin ich, ich bin ein Egoist.
–Falco

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Secondhand Texting

So there I was, about to text while driving to visit my family. In my mind, it was (literally) a no-brainer. My text message was going to be simple: “10.” The holiday traffic on the freeway wasn’t that bad, and the thunderstorm was turning into just a heavy downpour. Why not, I thought.

“One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”
—Oscar Wilde

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Distracted Driving for Dummies

So there I was, stopped at the traffic light that had just turned red. I looked in my driver side mirror and saw a car still speeding towards the light. He eventually slammed on the brakes, and stopped partway into the intersection. As I looked over, I saw that he had a phone to his right ear. Typical, I thought.

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