“If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.”
DEARBORN — Ford announced recently that it had losses of $12.7 billion for 2006, its largest loss in history (although still far below GM’s 1992 losses of $23.5 billion).
Most of the losses, totaling $9.9 billion, were due to buyouts and writing down assets as part of its reorganizing plan. Its North American automotive operations also lost $6.6 billion, offsetting gains in Europe and the rest of the world.
When asked to comment on the losses, Ford replied, “I don’t know. Maybe I lost it on the couch. I was watching Malcolm in the Middle reruns and fell asleep. When I woke up, I walked down to the 7-11 to buy an orange Slurpy, and noticed my money was gone.”
Ford indicated that if it doesn’t find the $12.7 billion between the sofa cushions, it would trace its steps back to 7-11 to look for the money.
When asked to comment to this story, Ford’s mother replied, “I swear if that boy’s head wasn’t attached to his shoulders, he’d lose that, too.”
Ford’s father, declining to comment, only shook his head slowly.